I Heart AC

If you have never been to Atlantic City, let me give you the CliffsNotes version of what the place is all about. IT FUCKING SUCKS. I had to go to a work thing there this past week and once again, my conviction has been reaffirmed. The first sight I was greeted with before entering the MAJESTIC (meaning dated and baffling) Trump Taj Mahal was a blood stain (pictured) on the wall of the parking garage. I can't really tell if it was from a beatdown or GSW, but definitely looks like a good one (meaning someone left Floor 1 "BLACKJACK LEVEL" in rough shape). I didn't feel like getting all CSI on it, but it was definitely a good representation of what the place has to offer.

Airport Oversized Infants

Dude, I hope you are happy. I hope you can hold your head high toddling around the airport with your bag that is WAY TOO SMALL TO BE ON WHEELS and your pink, anus-resembling mommy pillow/drool catcher. If you had any semblance of testicular fortitude, you would get a backpack, throw it over your shoulders and deal with either NOT SLEEPING or learn to sleep without that soft, supple, plush embarrassment around your neck... I will however give you +1 for resisting the urge to dress like a total sloppy, ice-cream social nap time idiot- Though I'm sure you had a good hard think when mom gave you the option by laying out both outfits on your race car bed. We are what Clint Eastwood lovingly refers to as the "pussy generation" (meaning failed man, not female sex organ) and this is a PRIME example why it is so.

Skull and Sheetrock

I was at a construction site yesterday and I BLASTED my head on a low hanging piece of sheet rock (pictured). I keep my hair pretty short, so there was no padding whatsoever and I caught the full wrath of the crudely cut edge in the very top of my skull. It snapped my neck back and made the nearby drywall guy laugh out loud. I'm 5' 11" and this shit was only 5' 8" or so. Why have a hole in a wall like that? Well, it's eventually going to be a window, but now is open to the floor so the contractors can easily get in and out- and dumbasses like me can bash their heads. This experience was a super bummer for me... but drywall guy was stoked. I left feeling like a douche, but then a funny thing happened... My exceedingly lame week suddenly went on a nice upswing: Got a call about a BBQ, went and ate some chicken, enjoyed a few High Life tall-boys, won at poker, Rover came home (okay Rover didn't come home, since he never left, since I don't have a dog, but you get the point). Good Vibes. I'm waiting to step in dogshit or something, so I can have more nice things happen to once again strike a balance.